As I’m sure you’ve noticed, it’s been pretty quiet around here. And by quiet, I mean I’ve been MIA for the past month. At first it was unintentional, but then it became very intentional. I’ll explain –
In the past couple of months quite a few things have changed in my life. My health hasn’t been the best and I’ve been seeing the progression of my autoimmune disease a little more than I would like to. Being exhausted and not feeling well 90% of the time led to me slow down and take breaks from most things for a little while. Instead of getting off work and doing more work (blogging, SM, etc.) I decided to try something new where I just didn’t – no blogging, no worrying about deadlines, very little cleaning (I’m embarrassed to admit), no social media, etc. For the last month or so, other than work, I relaxed for the first time in forever. As much as I loved the freedom, it didn’t make me feel any better and I definitely missed blogging.
I’ve also accepted a new full-time marketing position with a company here in LA. Not only is this position full-time (and not for myself), but I will no longer be working remotely which means I have to go into an office each day for 8 hours. This is such a bittersweet thing for me. This job is really everything I’ve ever said I would require from a job in order for me to rethink my current working-for-myself freelance position. It took me so long to get to the point where I could 100% work from home and for myself, that I swore I would never go back. So hello nerves and confusion, a little worry that I made the wrong decision, and even a little gilt for being excited about human interaction in an office, and then of course SO excited for less freelance tax junk. Basically, it’s been emotional. But when this opportunity came to me, it just felt right. As someone that is a big believer in signs, feelings, going with your gut, etc. I though this was an opportunity that God put in my life for a reason, and that I needed to take it. I’ve kept a couple (2) freelance clients that I love so much I can’t bear to not work with them, and feel SO good about that decision, that I think it’s giving me a little peace of mind with this new job knowing my favorite clients are still there to make me smile.
It’s only my second day and I’m extremely nervous about my health and the strength of my immune system. About 60% of the time, I don’t feel well enough to get out of bed and put on clothes and the other 40% of the time I still feel like crap but manage to look like I’ve got life together. Keeping that in consideration and adding the commitment of a 40 hour IN-OFFICE work week to it terrifies me. I don’t want to let anyone down, but at the same time, I haven’t come to the point yet where I’m ready to admit defeat to my health.
If you couldn’t tell, life has been confusing lately, but also exciting and hopeful. I purchased a car this past weekend after a full year without one. It’s my first brand new car and I’m feeling like such an adult. I’ve also been loving my little paper crafting/planning hobby that gives me a little peace and mindless fun at the end of the day, and although I feel a lot of emotions about different things I also feel like life is really working out for the best recently.
So back to blogging – I’ve realized that moderation is key for me right now. I may not be producing as much content as I used to be, but I promise I put my heart into each and every post, and I try to only share posts that I truly think you’ll love (rather than writing any old post just to put something up).
If you’ve made it this far, I applaud you. This post really goes back to my love of lifestyle blogging and wanting to bring it back to the blog. If you’re reading this and you’re like “what the heck is this rambling nonsense??”, don’t worry they won’t all be like this. 🙂 Thanks for following along, and for your support!